Monday, October 20, 2008

things out of my kiddo's mouth

Today alone I have heard the following from my 7 year old red-headed son.....

1. "Mom, I really need to tell you why I was bad today at school.* It was the devil and he made me do it."
2. "Mom, seriously.... you know there is a devil. Right?"
3. "I really wish one day I can draw my own money!" (he then proceeded to draw me a picture with $1 and then fourty-one (41) zeros behind).

Today I am rich and he is grounded!

*reason he is grounded

spiders scare me now....

Spiders didn't scare me before, but they do now. A couple years back my step-daughter (aka Bear) was with us for one of her visits and I had just gone to bed after having a horrible headache all day. I took a couple of Tylenol p.m. and proceeded to pass out. I was just getting to sleep and was awoken t0 Bear standing over my head trying to get me up. In my mind I am screaming "WTH!?! To her....I am sure I wasn't pleasant either...I was half asleep and I am not a nice girl when I am awoken from sleep....ask any member of my family! Anyway, Bear is freaked out. She tells me there is a HUGE spider in the living room and I should come quick so that I can kill it. ......wha?hmmm?seriously? I was a bit perplexed. Hubster (her father) was right next to me. Why didn't she wake him up? Why did she think that I would be the one to kill the spider?

Reluctantly, I got out of bed and went to see what was going on. I haven't seen a BIG spider really ever, unless of course you count that time we were at the zoo or museum. I was not prepared for what I saw. Bear wasn't kidding when she said that there was a HUGE spider in the room. This thing was gianormous! I found the nearest shoe I could while Bear jumped on the couch cheering me on from far away. I slapped one of my flip-flops hard on the spider. As soon as I hit it a million baby spiders scattered from under my shoe. There had to have been a million......At that moment I promised all the spiders of the world that I would not harm anymore......except of course the babies that had spread all over my floor looking for cover. I ran and got the nearest spray I could find....ant and roach spray....if it was good for ants and roaches it was good for these babies. I sprayed the rest of the bottle that I had to have been half full.

After we got everything settled, Bear went back to watching her show on t.v. and I went back to the comforts of my bed. As soon as I went back to sleep I started having nightmares of Charlotte and her babies from Charlotte's Web. "Help me"......ahhhh.

Never again will I kill a spider. I promised!

Friday, October 10, 2008

get your costume on

I love halloween most years. It has been a holiday that kicks ass in the candy department. It has been years of dressing up as a watermelon slice, strawberry shortcake, a witch or any other strange costume I/my mom could come up with.

I have had many strange experiences on halloween. When I was a kid, my brother was about 2 and in a little red devil's costume. How appropriate. I was 6 and dressed as a witch. My mother made a nose for me that had a wart on the end with silly putty (or something similar). We drove to another neighborhood of some friends of my parents and on the way there we were in an accident and I hit the seat in front of me with my fake nose. I was devestated. The nose was smushed......looking back I can chuckle but at the time......not so much.....but I still made out like a bandit with the candy that year.

My first halloween with my then boyfriend/now hubster, we got together and went out with another friend of ours and hit the goodwill and got our costumes. Shortly before halloween there were big headlines made. Princess Di was killed in a car accident, John Denver was killed in a plane crash, and Mike Tyson has just bit off his opponents ear. When we all put our heads together we came up with our pretty disturbing costumes. I thought that Princess Di after the accident would be appropriate. It was Halloween and all! I bet you see where this is going. Yes, hubster decided on John Denver after his accident and our buddy decided that he would go as Mike Tyson (black faced and with an ear around his neck). What a fun time we had. We hit a costume party and rocked it. We had a blast. They had countless jello shots and free flowing beer. Good times.

Another memorable halloween was when we dressed up for a white trash party a friend was throwing. Hubster dressed up a pair of overalls and blacked out a tooth and had a red train hat on. I put my jammies, house shoes and a robe on. I put my hair up in rollers and put more freckles on (not like I needed anymore). Duringthe evening hubster went and left me sitting with some friends to go to the bathroom. When he came back he didn't come back alone. There was this cute little cheerleader that was following him. It happened to be an ex-girlfriend of his. He came and introduced her to me and I ackwardly shook her hand and smiled and then remembered that I had blackened out a tooth.

Halloween is right around the corner.....hmmmm what shall I be?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

welcome to my show!

Welcome to the cheeky monkey show! Kick off your shoes and stick around for a while!

The urban definition for cheeky means you are flippant, have too much lip or are a bit of a smart arse! Generally you are considered to be a bit cheeky if you have an answer for everything and always have the last fitting for my blog name.

Here I am going to explore whatever happens to be on my mind at the moment! I can be a bit scatterbrained at times so sit back and enjoy the ride!

If you have anything you would like to comment on....go for it.